April - Inguz - Mothering

Today I had a plan to get a lot done on my business websites and blogs. I had a to-do list with several detailed lines on drafting blog posts, newsletters, prepping photos, and so on.
Like so often happens with best laid plans and intentions, it all went to hell first thing this morning. The to-do list didn't even have a chance.
I had a fight with my mother, which, some readers who know me know that is not unusual. My mother and I have a strained relationship that goes through waves of highs and lows, usually the highs look like normal mother-daughter relationships and the lows are...really low. We are entering a low and, as usual in a low, I'm not seeing a way out of it right now.
In the past, when this happens, I have a tendency to wallow in my anger like a pig in mud, a mud warmed by anger then cooling to a tepid depression. Enough of a metaphor?
This time, however, I have a baby boy who has already shown that he is very sensitive to momma's moods so I knew I couldn't harbor these emotions for long or bring him into my mud bath with me.
After a long talk with my husband and getting out my hurt feelings into tears and words, I kissed him and my baby, grabbed some fresh towels, and took a hot shower.
I scalded myself in the water, steaming up the whole bathroom. This is how I cleanse and think. It is the best place for me to meditate now that I have a baby (its the only time I'm alone right now). The steamy air clouds around me and I am transported through the mists into Fensalir.
I climbed the stone steps up to my lady's hall. I pass the pillars and enter the interior hall of stone and great beams of grey wood like the driftwood of the beginning of the worlds. Off to each side of me are dark archways that lead to other rooms and halls (part of me knows that one day I will explore these places but today is not that day).
Ahead of me is the raised dias on which my lady stands. At the bottom step is a handmaiden dressed in a blue dress with her brown hair intricately braided. She is spinning on a wheel that I do not recognize - something between my own spinning which that requires a chair and the kind that Ghandi used to use. I note its strangeness and will look into it later. My goal is up the steps.
I stop at the bottom step and lower my eyes. I request an audience with Frigga. She says nothing but I feel that I am welcome. I climb the steps.
At the top of the platform is a chair - a throne in its use but really little more than a great wooden chair, nothing fancy but sturdy and lovely in its simplicity. Frigga stands beside it with her back to me, facing a large hearth in which a low fire burns. Another handmaiden is here, this one dark blonde but in similar dress, and is prepping some sort of herbal mix in a ceramic pot at the hearth.
I tell Frigga of my struggles, my sadness, my anger and I ask her if I am in the wrong for feeling this way. It takes a moment before Frigga turns to me. She gives me a small smile, one of concern and care. She places her hands on my shoulders and suddenly I am wrapped in a warm cloak - blue with a white collar with blue embroidery. It is warm and luxurious and comforting beyond belief.
She tells me things I do not want to share here - these are private and wonderful and nurturing. I lock them in my heart for now.
Frigga invites me to stay as long as I like to contemplate her words. She then hands me a stone - a rune the side of my palm though oblong. On it is a rune I recognize but could not yet name - I am just starting on my rune journey.
I returned to my shower slowly, tears ran down my face and mingled in the cleansing hot water. I smile and let them fall until I cannot cry anymore. I then leave the shower and dry off.
I take time to braid my hair as best I can - it isnt very long yet. I dress in clothes I like. I hug and kiss on my son and make my husband something to eat. I feel lighter, I can breathe easily.
After I settle I look online for the rune:
Inguz
Resting, gestation, internal growth, expectation, time for oneself
A seed begging to grow. (as I write I notice I wanted to write beginning but instead I typed begging...there are no coincidences)
Today is the first day that was warm enough to go out in short sleeves.
I put my son in our wrap carrier and went outside. I watched my baby touch spruce branches with awe, ponder sounds of birds and cars up the hill at the road, peeped in the green house, and looked at the garden beds awaiting seeds and plants.
We will be spending the weekend working in the greenhouse and outside, preparing the garden.
I think about Inguz. It is a masculine rune connected with Freyr. In this case it is the action of that first growth - the start. It isn't the womb but the bursting forth of new life deep in the ground where it cannot yet be seen. It is a promise of the energy rising, reaching the sun-Sunna, and transformational power not only for itself but also for the animal or person-animal that eats it - nourishment magick.
I am in this stage and while I can only guess, the seed might feel some pain as it cracks open to the moisture of the ground and begins to put out a sprout and roots.
I am putting out roots here in Meadow Lakes. I have found a home and I will grow here, reaching for the sun and nourishing those around me, gaining nourishment from them.
The plant does not worry about nourishing the animal half a world away. It does not worry about nourishing those nearby. It focuses on reaching towards the sun, focuses on drinking deep, focuses on growing its seed and nurturing it. I will do the same.
This rune also references the inner-child. The inner-child that seeks not only acceptance but also a mother's pride. The inner-child that fears even after a decade, even after 5000 miles. The inner-child that now turns to a goddess who takes care of children left out in the cold by mothers past and now and carries them with her on the wild hunt - the same wild hunt that happens one night after my birthday.
In divination, a reverse or "negative" reading could mean movement without change. I reflect on how I am constantly in this cycle with my mother. Susun Weed in her book says life is a cycle and how we are always returning to these times in our life, these events, decisions, illnesses, and so on and how we learn something new. This isn't to be considered outside of health. This is part of health, part of us. She recommends acceptance and Nourishment - a word that keeps coming up for me. How can I nourish myself in this situation and time. What do I need for nourishment? What does a seed need to gestate?
Good soil - if the soil the seed started in isn't working, move it. I moved to Alaska and was brought to Meadow Lakes by a series of events.
Sunshine - a shining light, goals, hope, knowing that things can get better even in the valleys and tunnels of life. The silver lining - knowing that the valleys might be low but they are fertile and usually beautiful if one will only look around. Sure, they don't have the far seeing vistas of mountain tops but they have meadows - I will have to focus on seeing heaven in a wild flower.
Air to breathe. Pollution, negative thoughts, bad programming, and more.
Water - cleansing, renewing, life giving water. My son's smiles, my lover's arms. Scalding showers.
Inguz

Runes in Ancient Text

While current Rune systems of divination seem to stem from modern heathen and magickal practices (1970's onward to today) and lesser known Armenan Rune system from 1902, there are references to symbol magick in the old texts. I've been looking into this more, trying to make a connection to ancestral ways of doing things and how we do them now as I learn about the runes. I thought I would share some of my research.

Tacitus (Germania 10) gives a detailed account (98AD):

They attach the highest importance to the taking of auspices and casting lots. Their usual procedure with the lot is simple. They cut off a branch from a nut-bearing tree and slice it into strips these they mark with different signs and throw them at random onto a white cloth. Then the state's priest, if it is an official consultation, or the father of the family, in a private one, offers prayer to the gods and looking up towards heaven picks up three strips, one at a time, and, according to which sign they have previously been marked with, makes his interpretation. If the lots forbid an undertaking, there is no deliberation that day about the matter in question. If they allow it, further confirmation is required by taking auspices.

It is often debated whether "signs" refers specifically to runes or to other marks; both interpretations are plausible.

"Runes shalt thou find / and fateful signs"
Havamal 143

"Beer I bring thee, tree of battle,
Mingled of strength and mighty fame;
Charms it holds and healing signs,
Spells full good, and gladness-runes."
the Poetic Edda is the Sigrdrífumál stanza 5

There is also mention of:

• ølrunar "Ale-runes"
• biargrunar "birth-runes" 
• brimrunar "wave-runes" 
• limrunar "branch-runes"
• malrunar "speech-runes"
• hugrunar "thought-runes"

Gebo and Frigga

A Gift for a Gift

Recently I received a set of runes as a trade - the runes for a custom crocheted tarot bag. This act of barter is a direct correlation to the run of Gebo.
Gebo is the rune of:

• Gifts
• Barter
• Trade
• Exchange
• Business Partnership
• Marital Relationships
• Romantic Partnerships

The rune associated with Frigga is Berkana but today I wanted to focus on the relationship of Gebo with Frigga.

Experience
If you're reading my blog, you probably know that this is almost entirely UPG (unverified personal gnosis) that is brought on by experiences I have with Frigga and her handmaidens as well as a few experiences I have with other gods and my husband has with other gods.
My experiences with Gebo was initially brought about with Frigga.

The first experience I had was right after Ironwood Witch, Ulfdis, gave me a reading regarding my being called into service by Frigga. I was not expecting a reading but I wanted to return the kindness and work so I asked Ulfdis if I could send her something in return for her divinatory aid. She said I could and reminded me that this act of Gebo is something I might be coming across more and more in this realm of Northern Paganism/Heathenry.

The second time I experienced Gebo with Frigga was when I was tryign to negotiate a mandate Frigga had for me - within a year I am to stop giving tarot readings for pay. Frigga is a goddess of divination and a seer in her own right but she is one that is well known for not telling people or gods what she sees. The reason she didn't want me to offer readings for pay is 1) it cheapens my abilities in that people off the street can access divine aid and messages for simple coin and, because it is easily bought, they often blow off the advice given (this is something I see often as a tarot reader) and 2) it is not a form of divination that she is particularly fond of turns out.
So I was negotiating with her regarding divination because I love divination and reading tarot is a huge part of my life and business. I won't go into all the details of our negotiations but I will tell about its relationship to Gebo. Frigga mandated in part that I would learn to read the runes but that my first set of runes must be given to me in an act of Gebo and that I could, until she says otherwise, only read runes for others as an act of Gebo - a barter.
As I said before, my first set of runes were given to me in exchange for a custom crocheted tarot bag. This exchange happened very quickly after Frigga's mandate - the speed of which and the ease of the exchange I honestly feel is a testament to her showing me that she won't simply mandate or require things but will also aid in making it happen so long as I don't hesitate.

How do I feel about Loki and his followers?

Gonna keep this short and sweet -
I honor all the gods because they are that - gods - and in my belief there is indeed a hierarchy and we humans are not on top, the gods are and therefore I honor them as beings far more powerful than myself - this includes the Jotun, this inclufrs Loki.
I think the tendency within the Heathan/Asatru/NTP communities to dislike Loki comes from the fact that many of us have a Christian background with its binary belief of Good God and Evil Satan. I often see writing regarding Loki and Odin with this same tendency towards a binary and likening Baldr to a fallen Christ awaiting resurrection. This is all nonsense.
I think Mainer74 puts the whole matter very succinctly here.
I take no issue with followers of Loki, or any of the Jotun, dark gods, or any other gods so long as they do not push their beliefs on me.

That all being said; I am my Lady's earthly handmaiden and there are certain taboos that I will not break in my hearthstead - one is that Loki, as the killer of Her son, is not permitted in her presence. I do not honor Loki at Her altar or even in the room Her altar is in. His imagery is not present where I worship Her and I do not speak of him when She and I meet.
I see it like this - just because murder is not necessarily a punishable act among our gods, and Loki's actions can be justified when in the light of Odhinn's actions, it is still rude to bring up the offending party to Frigga, who had nothing known to do with Loki's troubles and still lost her beloved son.

Small side rant: I know I shouldn't let it bug me but...images of Thor movies/comics and its fan art that depict a loving maternal relationship between Frigga and Loki annoy me sooo much. I think i just get annoyed because if you google Frigga its all over the place. /endrant.

Don’t keep the Gods trapped in the past!

theskaldspeaks:

You know what I want to see more of? Images of our gods in the modern age. They’re not just our ancestors’ gods, they’re ours too.

I want to see Freyr blessing migrant farmer laborers. I want to see Freyja watching over sex workers. I want to see Odin camped out under an overpass, swapping stories. I want Tyr marching with protesters and Thor fighting tyrants. I want Frigga as a high powered lady executive or attorney, Eir as a nurse in an overcrowded and underfunded inner city hospital

Our gods our more than gleaming steel and mead halls. Humanity has grown and changed, and of course the gods have come along with us!

Prayer to Eir

norsegodcalls:

Hail Eir!
With loving ears, please
hear this prayer.

To scorch out flu
and reknit bone.
With healing flow,
please fill my home.

Mind, lend strength
and self-hate, quell.
In soul, mind, and body;
Please, Eir, make me well.

Hail!


norsegodcalls


Requested by Anon

Adorations of the Disir

Adorations of the Disir

I adore You, Mitochondrial Eve.

I adore You, Ancient Women.

I adore You, Eldest Kin.

I adore You, Women of Strength.

I adore You, Women of Power.

I adore You, Women of Resolve.

I adore You, Leaders.

I adore You, Warriors.

I adore You, Healers.

I adore You, Farmers.

I adore You, Hunters.

I adore You, Crafters.

I adore You, Grandmothers.

I adore You, Mothers.

I adore You, Sisters.

I adore You,…

Fiber Arts for a Cause

Saw this story shared on Facebook and wanted to share it here  - Frigga LOVES charities that combine fiber arts with caring for others. This is what creating fiber items is for, to give warmth (sense and emotional warmth) to others who need it. 

Paul Sweeney

My hero is Mum. When I got my own police station she knitted me a teddy bear. I was hoping for a coffee mug.
I said “Mum I’m too old for a teddy bear.”
She said “Firstly, you’re not. No one is. Secondly, it’s not for you. It’s a trauma bear, for any kid you think needs it.”
Three months later I’m asking a little boy to do a big job. There was a scared bear in my police truck that needed looking after. And, while his world dissolved in sirens and lights that boy kept that bear safe and took him home.
Mum has made hundreds of things since. Trauma bears for victims of crime, quilts to warm rehabilitating drug addicts during the chill of withdrawal, booties and mittens for premature babies. There’s something in the stitching, a kind of grandma magic I suppose.
The photo is me dropping of some more bears and quilts. Mum’s my hero and, since she’s not on Facebook, if you message me I’ll pass it on.

Mum was really touched by everything you said - she wants me to clarify a couple of things though. There are lots of women who do this, mums, grandmas and those for whom children never arrived. She doesn't want to take credit for everyone's work but she'd be really happy if it was her blankets that cuddled James, Emily and Alex. Love from Mum.

Regarding Sexist Heathens

answersfromvanaheim:

I hope that when every sexist Heathen who has said shitty things about the goddesses dies they get brought to Valhalla and instead of seeing Odin they see Frigg sitting there and she’s just like “My husband is in Midgard right now, I’ll be handling your processing.”

I mean, Odin is away an awful lot. 

The Valhalla Myth

Saw this on http://foruncleredbeard.tumblr.com/ and it struck a chord - the jist is that many Heathens miss the fact that home and family were priorities to our ancestors, a fact and way of being that Frigga wants me to focus on and reintroduce to the culture around me. 

Reposting from the Real Heathenry page on Facebook:

The Valhalla Myth
Larz Silcott

Due in part to the success of shows like Vikings, comic books, and the Viking metal movement, many new Heathens buy into the myth of Valhalla as a desirable afterlife.

While the Eddas and sagas certainly make mention of Valhalla, the “rules” for entry were pretty clear: one must be killed in battle to gain admittance. Even then, only half of the battle slain were chosen to go; the others went to Freyja’s hall, Folkvangr. For those who were chosen for Valhalla, they could expect to fight each day until they were slain again, and then rise to feast that night, in a cycle that would continue until Ragnarok. And while the idea of feasting and fighting for eternity might appeal to many of us, Valhalla isn’t quite what it appears to be.

In Road to Hel by Hilda Roderick Ellis, the author points out that Valhalla wasn’t commonly mentioned in Skaldic poetry until nearly the end of the arch-Heathen period, well into what is commonly called the “Viking age.” During this period, many arch-Heathens were traveling great distances, sometimes raiding, and the odds of dying in battle and not having your body returned home were increasing. This lends credence to the idea of Valhalla as a “consolation prize” for those who fell far from home.

Archaeological finds have discovered that many heathen burial mounds were actually family mounds, and they were entombed with living belongings like forks, knives, combs, etc. It is believed that the purpose of this was because the spirit of that individual, which was believed connected to the bones of the body, was now going to reside there with the fallen’s ancestors. This was a desirable end for Heathens; the focus on family and community outweighed everything else.

Valhalla, meanwhile, was less a “reward” and more a default for those who fell far from home. The description itself, with shields as a roof and swords their only light source, is believed to be a kenning for the battlefield itself, where the slain were frequently interred or even left to rot after a battle. And while this description may appeal to some Heathens, the fact remains that a true Heathen outlook would see one prefer to be buried alongside their family, their ancestors, so that they may properly watch over and guide their descendants. Something that those who fell in far-flung lands would be unable to do.

The focus on the Eddas and Sagas over all other material is frequently the cause of this particular fascination with Valhalla. And while Snorri did modern Heathens a great service by preserving what he could of the lore, he did so often unaware of the context, or ascribing a context in line with his own beliefs and upbringing. This is, in large part, why so many Heathens today insist on digging deeper, finding the truths behind these very basic concepts presented by Snorri. Valhalla is one of those concepts, behind which lies a much more important truth: dying in battle was honorable, but resting alongside your ancestors was more desirable.

Read more about these concepts and Northern Tradition of beliefs regarding Death on Heathen Hof.

What Do You Mean You Spoke to Frigga?

I thought I would write a clarification post by what I mean when Frigga and I have a conversation. Going to go ahead and say here, I expect some people to think I'm making this up or that I'm completely crazy - that's ok, I accept this and am trying my best not to be upset over any commentary regarding that. This post if for those of you, like me, who went looking for others who were also speaking with the gods. When Frigga came to me, I went looking and, thankfully, had a friend who connected me with others like myself. This made me feel less nuts and actually helped me to figure out where I was and what I needed to be doing. So, if you're in similar shoes, this post if for you.

Joshua Tenpenny writes on his blog, Serving Gods, a very clear post about having conversations with gods and how it works for him. I found his blog post comforting and inspiring and while I encourage you to go read the whole post, I wanted to share a key piece here:
If you are talking to someone who doesn’t believe all this, they want to know precisely what level of implausibility are you claiming...Basically, they want to know whether you are a Grade-A Nutter, or just someone who bizarrely chooses to interpret normal life situations in some kind of weird religious context.
From the standpoint of a hard polytheist, some people have waking visions and some people have subtle hints, and unless there is some other reason to question the validity or accuracy of the message, the means of communication are as irrelevant as whether Susan invited you to her birthday party in person, by email, on Facebook, or mailed you a physical invitation. 

So here is the short clarification: 
I have had dreams and waking visions of Frigga wherein she is either here with me, like someone physical sitting beside me, or I am with her in Fensalir, walking through her hall or along the misty marsh and we talk.
For non-believers, this is the penultimate of bonkers and that is why I quickly looked for reference among others with similar experiences. Happily, I found some and even had a reading that assured me that this was what was actually happening and not something my brain was just misfiring and making up.

Is this the first time this has happened?
Yes and No. I have been in the presence of gods before, however, these situations were usually after deep meditation, a request for their presence, and usually after days, weeks, or even months of a certain spiritual practice connect with that deity.
I have had guardians and spirits contact me in this jolting and unexpected way but Frigga is the first goddess to contact me without my first initiating the contact.

How do I know its Frigga and Not Something Else?
This is a blog post all its own but...
I know its Frigga and not my own Higher Self or Ego because of 2 things - 1) she has requested a few actions and set in place a few taboos I'm not entirely comfortable with; nothing crazy or dangerous, just out of my comfort zone. 2) Someone who isn't emotionally connected to my situation did a reading and confirmed it was Frigga.
I know its Frigga and not a malicious entity because of 2 things - 1) I have experience with malicious entities and have my own system of vetting spirits that come to me. 2) see #2 above.

My Recommendations for Those Being Visited by the Divine?

1. Get a reading from a divination expert, shaman, or other spiritualist that you trust. These people will be able to vet your situation and tell you what their form of divination says as well as give a little bit of clarity on what the god or entity that is visiting you wants. 
2. Simply ask the god, spirit, or entity what they want. This is huge and if they are legit, they will answer. 
3. Remember, you have the right to stop communication or say no any time you want. Free will does exist and if you don't want this entity as part of your life, you can say so. If the entity does not leave, get a reading from an expert or consider taking steps to exorcise/banish the entity. Remember that the gods aren't all that interested in forcing someone to work with them - malicious entities however will linger while they can. 

Hulda's Blessing on a Tired Mother

I have recently been having a rough time going to sleep at night. When I lie down with my snuggly, sleeping boy, suddenly my brain is active with should-have-dones and need-to-dos. I also have been having issues with pains that I won't get into in detail but it does make it difficult to get comfortable.
Figuring I had nothing to lose for it, I asked Frigga to aid me in finding a rest after a days work if she saw fit.
I closed my eyes and a small vision came to me, helping me to relax.

I was standing in the foyer of a what was either a small cabin or the small kitchen of a larger hall. 

The room was dominated by a large stone hearth in which a fire was burning with warmth and light that washed over me. 

I looked down to see that I was minimally dressed in a thin night gown and in my arms was my sleeping child with a furrowed brow as if he knew I something was strange. 

We were not alone in the room. 

A middle-aged woman with a gold braid, light blue dress, and a gray shawl greeted me with a soft smile and a nod. 

by Lynn Perkins

This is Frigga as Hulda - the lady of the hearth and comforter of tired mothers. 

Normally I have been met with the Queenly Frigga, Wife of Odhinn and Mistress of Asgard so I was a little surprised at her meeting me in such an informal way. 

Hulda led me to the hearth and bade me sit on the rug there. That rug was more comfortable than any bed I have ever sat or slept on. It was thick and brown and I think made of goat or sheep wool or both. 

She then wrapped my son and I in a thick blue and white quilt - not unlike the one I sleep under normally. 

I curled up on the rug with my child and watched the flames of the fire. 

Hulda went to her spinning wheel nearby. 

The whir of the wheel and the tune she hummed was the sweetest lullaby. 

I looked down at my boy and the furrow in his brow was gone, his face serene as his little hand touched my face and wrapped around a loose strand of my hair. 

I closed my eyes and was soon fast asleep.

That night my son who is 4 months old only woke twice to nurse. We both woke with snuggles and smiles. I placed a pancake on Frigga's altar in thanks.

Queen Frigga and Frau Holle

Let me preface this post that this entire blog and this post included is UPG and this is just how I feel and practice - I know a lot of people do not necessarily practice or believe the way that I do but I can only do how I do.
I'll get straight to the point...

For me, Frau Holle/Holda is simply another face of Queen Frigga.
For some this is blasphemy or uneasy at best but for others the similarities are enough to agree.

• Both are goddesses of the home
• Both are goddesses of spinning and fiber arts
• Both live in watery places (Frigga lives in marshland and Holle in a land of wells)
• Both carry a set of keys on their belt
• Both are seen in their homes attended by handmaidens

Another way that this could make sense is to see Frigga as Odhinn's mate and, just as Odhinn appears in many masks and guises, Frigga too can change her appearance and form from dominant Queen to old lady or hag to Lady of the Wild Hunt who rides the night just as brilliantly as Odhinn does.

For me, it was enough to feel that inner truth and knowledge that yes the two are the same. The aforementioned reasons and similarities simply added confirmation. Then, as I read more about Frau Holle, including her descriptions and her being the witch that blesses/curses the fairy tale daughters - one with dropping coins from her mouth when she speaks and the other dropping swamp reptiles when she speaks.
Her description as a hag that can later be seen as a young woman with long white hair - this later does look like Frigga when I have seen visions of her but the first actually brought to mind the first guide I ever had a vision of - an old woman with long white hair and a black cloak who taught me to scry. I asked Frigga if this was her and got a confirmation through an omen. I nearly cried because this means that Frigga has been by my side and my guide for over a decade and I didn't know her for it.
The fairy tale is one of my favorites but is also one that I feel says a lot more than the simple story tells in one reading. I'll talk more about this in a future post but will leave it here saying that this story means a lot to me and I feel even more love for it now that I connect it to Frigga.

Lastly, I almost cried again when I read about how Holle takes care of children lost early on, especially unbaptized children. I had a miscarriage 2 years ago and it warms my heart to know that Frigga could hold my little girl to her bosom and care for her until her next incarnation even though I could not.

Now that I've made the connection that Frigga and Holle are the same - this opens up a whole new door to me of finding ways to honor and have devotion for the goddess that has called me into service. Not much has been written about Frigga outside of her dealings with her son and husband (though very important in their own rights). Holle, however, is connected to many stories, fairy tales, and Mother Goode rhymes. All together gives me a vast and deep well to draw from.

The First Lesson

I recently had a reading done for me regarding my relationship with Frigga by Ulfdis of Ironwood Witch. In her reading she referenced the following poem which felt like the words of Frigga driven right into my heart. I place it here not only to share but as a reminder to myself.

The First Lesson

By Maris Pái

The first lesson, She said, is to look at the path before you:
None of this eyes-downcasted fear. No more stomach-clenched dread
Of all the things you don’t and can’t know. Because, Little One,
all the things you don’t and can’t know are legion and I will not
have one of my own flinching at shadows. Look at your path
and do not cower. Square your shoulders and
lift your chin. Have you not realized your own strength by now?

There are as many paths to the Tree as there are stars in the sky:
it matters less which you choose than that you have chosen
and been chosen and that you continue to choose
to put one foot in front of the other and walk the road ahead of you.
Sometimes you will walk on razor-blades, each step an agonized trudge,
and sometimes you will run, eager to reach that which lies ahead, or
eager again to flee that which came before. The dragons you do not slay
may chase you down later and find you unguarded: Better to face them
the first time and not be tripped up later and find that the smoke ahead
is not a friendly bonfire or hearth but new immolation.

I am in the staff by your side and your backbone and your feet
and I am the falcon soaring high above, leading you to the rising sun
and dazzling your eyes when what your focus should be is the journey
and not the potholes.

 The First Lesson: Maris Pái

HUGINN v1.2 Midsummer 2011; “The Work”

A Chant for Frigga

Mother of Baldr, the child of light,

daughter of Jord and Odin's wife

calm and true you guide my life,

guide me to my heart.

I come before the Mother

oh the choices and paths that led me here

like many strands

made one in the spinning.

*Chant is based on and inspired by the Mother of Darkness chant. 

Relationship of Devotee to Deity

I read this post recently and had to share:

An idea about divine relationships from Magick From Scratch

I find myself somewhere in the middle from Dependence/Other to Servitude/Other.

Committing to the Divine

"Commitment handfasts us to the object of that commitment, and like a marriage it requires regular attendance and attention. For example, we cannot claim to be committed to a lover unless he or she can depend on us when we're needed. Similarly, one cannot claim devotion to a spiritual practice or path honored only on solstices, Sundays, or Sabbats...spiritually speaking, commitment is the full consignment of the magickal self - with no provision for default, no requirement for success, and no room for regret."
Commitment by Jesse Wolf Hardin in Cakes & Ale for the Pagan Soul

Church is Full on Holidays
I read this editorial in Cakes & Ale the other day and it struck home, hard. Recently I've made a strong connection with Frigga and her presence in my life has been one that does not allow conditional devotion. This queen is an all-or-nothing kind of gal and my experiences with her have led me to think on my past experiences as a pagan and how I and other spiritually minded people of all faiths that I have met treat the divine, devotion, and our path.
Most pagans I know consider themselves more spiritually minded than most Christians they know. I have heard many disdainful remarks towards Christians who seem to only live their faith on Sundays or, worse, on Christmas and Easter. To be fair, I've heard similar remarks from Christians themselves and, actually, there is some truth in it. What I feel should also be pointed out is that many pagans also fall into this category - mouthing and dancing along to known practices only on the Sabbats or only on the full moon. I see a lot of witches talking about spells and the craft but very few really living it beyond the pagan chat rooms or monthly/bi-monthly meetups.

Apprehension & Service
I will say that not all witches are religious or spiritual - some only practice the craft and have no divine ties to their work. Good for them. This post is about those who follow a religion, especially those with a Matron/Patron deity that they honor, worship, and/or serve.
Some pagans absolutely HATE it when I mention servitude in regards to deity and witchcraft. This brings about ideas of submission, Christian ideals, and entrapment. Some pagans go so far as to say that the gods have no interest at all in servants and to suggest so or even go so far as discuss god-slaves is blasphemy. Others argue that the gods have no need of servants, that they can easily do whatever it is that they want doing on this plane without aid of humans.
You might be asking, what the hell does commitment, Frigga, and devotion have to do with servitude and wondering why I am getting off on a tangent.

Disclaimer
Before I go further, I do want to say that whatever way you practice your craft and faith is your own business and no one, including me, has a right to tell you how to do it. I only want to point out a few things that I observe and my opinions and feelings on them.

Divine Demands
While no deity has any interest in forcing a human to do something for them, I have learned in my experiences and in reading and talking to other pagans that have experienced divine presences, that they do have tasks they desire humans to perform for them on this earthly plane. I won't attempt to speculate much on whether or not the divine could do this themselves - I don't think one should risk the divine proving them wrong - but it does seem that there are some duties and tasks they would prefer we do instead.
In Christianity, God charges His followers to perform duties that include telling others of Him, charitable works, healing, and more. Perhaps it is the similarity to the Christian faith that many pagans are trying to avoid when they say that their gods have no need of servants or tasks performed here.

Experiences
In my experience and reading, the Christian God doesn't seem to hold the corner market on asking/telling humans what they need to do. In fact, its not just the divine that does this but also our guardians and guides.
A few years ago, i was led by spirit and a couple of my guides to learn Reiki and Sekhmet Sekhem in order to heal some people I know as well as myself. I didn't have an interest in Reiki or energy healing before but I did was I was inspired to do and ended up needed this hands-on healing many times sense even though I don't advertise my ability to do it.

Recently, this divine urging has come from Frigga. I won't go into detail as to what all has happened with her but I will say that part of it was a quick request from me for her to look over a woman and her baby who was in NICU. She said I would have to do some work in order to get that aid.
Part of the committment to the divine is doing things we aren't gung ho for and another part is understanding that there is a give and take. Some consider this keeping the universe in balance, others believe that the gods, like humans, simply aren't always interested in doing something for nothing.
So I had to add my own work into her blessing by creating a physical item for her to work through in the life of this woman and child. I later came to understand that, because the woman was not a follower or believer in Frigga, she needed something to connect her with them when the circumstances would otherwise involve prayer, belief, and intention on the part of someone else.

Hands of Gods
Just a random question to pagans who think that the divine has no need for us to perform tasks - why in the world would they 1) help us at all and 2) would we leave offerings to them when we ask for aid? Just curious, what's your thoughts?
What I think: Sometimes the divine needs its followers and god-servants to do the work for them on this plane because so many people do not believe. Without belief, the work cannot be done. So the divine needs those few the believe for them.

What does this have to do with Commitment?
Well, how can we do the work of and for the divine if we only acknowledge them maybe once a week, once a month, once a blue moon? How can we expect to work with them or them to work through us if we do not attend to that relationship regularly? How can we ask for their aid and guidance if we do not also give back by doing what they ask of us here?

Not long after I did what Frigga asked me, I was considering going to a pagan event and honoring her there. That night I had a dream that I was at said event and someone called for a toast to the Mother Goddess. We all drank and I drained my cup as I mentally honored Frigga. She then spoke to me, admonishing me for being among a group of people that said they honor the gods but do not mean it. She said they are like children, pretending at play, except that even children have reverence.
My lesson from this dream is it is better to speak to your gods and commit to them in true and dedicated devotion alone - even if your words are jumbled, don't rhyme, or, heaven forbid, you dont even have a ceremonial circle or altar or anything than it is to join together and have a party with all the right words and costumes and dance but have no love or dedication in your hearts.

4 Pillars of Fensalir

As I went for a walk with Frigga, the mist surrounded us and I didn't see much other than her. She stood tall, so much taller than me that I had to look up to see her face when she turned in her strolling to look down at me. Her long white-blonde hair was perfectly coiffed in a soft bun with a silvery pin and her lean body was wrapped in a blue-silver dress with a white ruff around the shoulders. I am always stunned by her grace and how she seems to flow from step to step. My own movements are clunky and childish next to her.

I receive images instead of words sometimes. I always get the feeling that she is not fond of my language or that she would simply rather I use hers if I only could.
My son comes up, the darling grinning at me toothlessly. I tell her he is well, though I feel like this is simply chitchat and she likes to ask about him even when she already knows. I tell her he is still teething. I receive the images of the herb chamomile and nod, yes I've started to give him the tea.
I get the feeling this visit wasn't a social call, I'm not sure if Frigga even makes social calls.

Frigga informed me that there were 4 important tenents I was meant to keep and to teach to others that would hear. These are the 4 Pillars of Fensalir:

• Kindness
• Cleanliness
• Charity
• Hospitality

I asked why love of children and spouse was not included, as she is the Goddess of family, children, and marriage.
She turned to me and raised a brow, asking, "Do you need to be told to love your child and husband?"
"No," I responded, feeling a little ridiculous for having asked.
She shrugged as if to say "there you go."

Hospitality
Hospitality is an important act among the people of the North - and elsewhere in ancient days. For one reason, you never knew who you were welcoming into your home. There are many legends and fables of people welcoming a stranger only to learn later they were gods, elves, messengers of the gods, or angels. These creatures and gods, being more powerful than man, could either curse or bless a home so it was a big deal to be hospitable.
What might be a little ironic is, when it comes to this tenet, I often think of the Satanic 10 Commandments that tells its followers to be respectful and hospitable, however, if someone disrespects you in your home, destroy them. This is an important matter of hospitality that isn't often discussed - the guest honoring the home and those that live there. Hospitality goes both ways.
I have been in homes were I have been disrespected as a guest but, rather than fight the ones who lived there, I and those with me simply left the premises and did not return without receiving an apology and a welcome back (even then we did not go back quickly or linger long).
Frigga, as the Lady of Fensalir and the Queen wife of Odin, is well acquainted with hospitality and its effects on everyone involved. She welcomes guests to her own marshlands as well as to the great halls of Asgard. She has also used the rules of hospitality to have her way - in the case of Odin (in disguise) visiting King Geirröðr.
Another part of hospitality, she informed me, is to ALWAYS accept gifts when given. I feel that this might be more directed at me than anyone I might be talking or writing to but I felt the need to share anyways. I have a habit of, when someone wants to give me a gift, of saying things like "you shouldn't have" and getting embarrassed if I have nothing to give them in return. This is, of course, the true nature of gift giving - to give without expectation. The gifts can be non-physical items even, such as a friend buying me lunch or even a simple compliments. I am still learning to receive without diminishing myself or making the person giving insist that I take it.

Cleanliness
If you have worked with Frigga or read about her, you probably know she is a stickler for cleanliness. She likes a clean home especially, but also to make sure your personage is clean and your children are clean.
I need to hold onto this concept hard as I am not much of a house cleaner, I must admit. There are just so many things I would rather be doing in general, much less in the short time I have free from my little one - cleaning is just not something I enjoy doing. Frigga has no interest in this excuse from me and if I so much as pick up my crochet hook when the house is a mess, I am suddenly bombarded with "mom voice" in my head reminding me of that pile of laundry or that I haven't vacuumed in a week.
I'm reminded, with a giggle, of this image from a 1940's Singer sewing machine:

Cleanliness goes a step further with Frigga who is ever the lady of the home and this also means a lady of the hearth. Frigga is a fan of "real food." She turns up her nose at the idea of over-processed food-stuffs and would prefer a cleaner diet and cleaner body. This by no means includes "fat-free" or low calorie foods. She would have me drink whole or raw goat milk, bake and eat my own bread, and eat exclusively home raised or hunted meat if possible. This, to her, is clean living.

Kindness
The biggest point I want to get across is kindness does not mean being a door mat nor does it equate to the Wiccan rede of harm none. Kindness, at least here, means decency, courtesy, and good will (unless you have a reason, such as inhospitable people, not to be).
Frigga sees a lot of rudeness being very common in our lives and would like to encourage us, especially in our homes and personal lives, to be kinder to ourselves and each other. Pretty simple, at least in saying if not in practice.

Charity
It is said, if you have more than you need, build a larger table, not a higher wall.
Frigga has a big heart for charities that help women and children as well as charitable acts towards people in our lives.
I've put up a page here that lists a few organizations close to my heart and Frigga's. This page is still being developed. If you have any suggestions for organizations in this field (women, chuldren, mothers, fiber arts, and the faith) please let me know.

In Service: Gifts to Mother and Child

At the beginning of this week I learned about a woman who had her baby too early and both were in the hospital. I am not a particular fan of this woman - she has been very disrespectful to a friend of mine and to my goddaughter to the point of cussing and being vulgar to the latter (who is 12).
That being said, when I learned of her situation I did ask Frigga if she would watch over the baby and perhaps help the woman to be a better mother to this child than she has been to her other children (long story).

In northern fashion, Frigga's attitude was very much "what would you do for me in return?"
I asked what she wanted -
"Let me hold your son and caress his hair."
Knowing that Frigga would never hurt my son, I agreed, however, that wasn't the end of it.
She said she would help them but I would have to do some work. She then gave me a glimpse (a brief vision) of what she needed me to make. We had a back and forth because the first vision - there was just no way for me to obtain those materials. Finally we settled on a piece that was doable...

I then argued that there was no way I would have time to create what she wanted AND get it to my friend who was taking things to this woman at the hospital. Frigga put her foot down so I figured I would get started on the project and simply do a little now and finish whenever.
My son had the LONGEST NAP he has ever had that day. Nearly 2 hours with brief interludes where he woke just enough to nurse then went right back to sleep. During this time I barely remember anything. I crocheted, fed and held my son, and I know I had a brief conversation with one of my in-laws but I don't remember the content of that conversation at all.

I finished both projects - the hat for the baby and the poppet carrier for the mother.
That evening, my husband created a birch goddess poppet that I then blessed with chamomile and the rune Berkana as directed by Frigga. My husband took both to my friend the next day to be delivered.

My Welcome to Motherhood from Frigga

I conceived my son on New Years Eve of 2015 and gave birth on October 9th. This not only makes him a Ram of the Chinese Zodiac but also a Libra. I have my work cut out for me as a new mom with a little boy who, at the time of this writing, is 3 months old, is already frustrated he can't walk, and believes the best way to get my milk to let down is to head-but my breast like a goat.

If you were to ask the teenage or early-twenties version of me, I never thought I would be a mother. I considered myself a pretty selfish person who didn't like children and wanted to spend her life traveling, writing, and reading while drinking copious amounts of tea. Then again, if you were to ask the teenage version of me if I would ever fall in love and get married, I would have said no, that dating was just fine - I met Lover when I was 18 and married him when I was 21.
Its strange to think of this as most of my friends that I've made since moving to Alaska in 2012 have said they always thought I was a very maternal sort of person who they knew would make a great mom. When I told them I didn't want kids until 2013, they were surprised.

2013 was a big change for me in many ways, not only because I was still adjusting to life in the great wild North, but because I also had my first pregnancy and experience the pain an grief of miscarriage that year. I mention it now, not to have anyone feel bad for me but because it was a catalyst for some major changes in my life.
2014 I began the journey to get healthier in both my physical body but also my energy body. I also connected with the spiritually minded women in my community. I also began to see and dream of a divine female entity who emitted the vibrations of loving mother, dutiful wife, and diplomatic queen as well as connecting to land spirits at the end of that year when we moved to the marshlands of Meadow Lakes.

Visitations from the female deity continued but it wasn't until the beginning of this year (2016) that I learned that it was Frigga, Norse Goddess, Queen of the Aesir, and Wife of Odin/Mother of Balder. I have never had much connection with the northern traditions or pantheons so it wasn't until I was researching an author I liked that I clicked on link and link and link until seeing the image and name Frigga. That was her!
The recognition and acknowledgement opened a door - more like busted it wide open.

Frigga is here and she has something to say - this blog is part of that.
As the Disclaimer says and this intro implies - this is a blog of my own experiences with Frigga and her handmaidens. This is not based on lore or the re-constructionist heathen beliefs. I hope that if you're reading this that you will keep an open mind.

Blessings