April - Inguz - Mothering

Today I had a plan to get a lot done on my business websites and blogs. I had a to-do list with several detailed lines on drafting blog posts, newsletters, prepping photos, and so on.
Like so often happens with best laid plans and intentions, it all went to hell first thing this morning. The to-do list didn't even have a chance.
I had a fight with my mother, which, some readers who know me know that is not unusual. My mother and I have a strained relationship that goes through waves of highs and lows, usually the highs look like normal mother-daughter relationships and the lows are...really low. We are entering a low and, as usual in a low, I'm not seeing a way out of it right now.
In the past, when this happens, I have a tendency to wallow in my anger like a pig in mud, a mud warmed by anger then cooling to a tepid depression. Enough of a metaphor?
This time, however, I have a baby boy who has already shown that he is very sensitive to momma's moods so I knew I couldn't harbor these emotions for long or bring him into my mud bath with me.
After a long talk with my husband and getting out my hurt feelings into tears and words, I kissed him and my baby, grabbed some fresh towels, and took a hot shower.
I scalded myself in the water, steaming up the whole bathroom. This is how I cleanse and think. It is the best place for me to meditate now that I have a baby (its the only time I'm alone right now). The steamy air clouds around me and I am transported through the mists into Fensalir.
I climbed the stone steps up to my lady's hall. I pass the pillars and enter the interior hall of stone and great beams of grey wood like the driftwood of the beginning of the worlds. Off to each side of me are dark archways that lead to other rooms and halls (part of me knows that one day I will explore these places but today is not that day).
Ahead of me is the raised dias on which my lady stands. At the bottom step is a handmaiden dressed in a blue dress with her brown hair intricately braided. She is spinning on a wheel that I do not recognize - something between my own spinning which that requires a chair and the kind that Ghandi used to use. I note its strangeness and will look into it later. My goal is up the steps.
I stop at the bottom step and lower my eyes. I request an audience with Frigga. She says nothing but I feel that I am welcome. I climb the steps.
At the top of the platform is a chair - a throne in its use but really little more than a great wooden chair, nothing fancy but sturdy and lovely in its simplicity. Frigga stands beside it with her back to me, facing a large hearth in which a low fire burns. Another handmaiden is here, this one dark blonde but in similar dress, and is prepping some sort of herbal mix in a ceramic pot at the hearth.
I tell Frigga of my struggles, my sadness, my anger and I ask her if I am in the wrong for feeling this way. It takes a moment before Frigga turns to me. She gives me a small smile, one of concern and care. She places her hands on my shoulders and suddenly I am wrapped in a warm cloak - blue with a white collar with blue embroidery. It is warm and luxurious and comforting beyond belief.
She tells me things I do not want to share here - these are private and wonderful and nurturing. I lock them in my heart for now.
Frigga invites me to stay as long as I like to contemplate her words. She then hands me a stone - a rune the side of my palm though oblong. On it is a rune I recognize but could not yet name - I am just starting on my rune journey.
I returned to my shower slowly, tears ran down my face and mingled in the cleansing hot water. I smile and let them fall until I cannot cry anymore. I then leave the shower and dry off.
I take time to braid my hair as best I can - it isnt very long yet. I dress in clothes I like. I hug and kiss on my son and make my husband something to eat. I feel lighter, I can breathe easily.
After I settle I look online for the rune:
Inguz
Resting, gestation, internal growth, expectation, time for oneself
A seed begging to grow. (as I write I notice I wanted to write beginning but instead I typed begging...there are no coincidences)
Today is the first day that was warm enough to go out in short sleeves.
I put my son in our wrap carrier and went outside. I watched my baby touch spruce branches with awe, ponder sounds of birds and cars up the hill at the road, peeped in the green house, and looked at the garden beds awaiting seeds and plants.
We will be spending the weekend working in the greenhouse and outside, preparing the garden.
I think about Inguz. It is a masculine rune connected with Freyr. In this case it is the action of that first growth - the start. It isn't the womb but the bursting forth of new life deep in the ground where it cannot yet be seen. It is a promise of the energy rising, reaching the sun-Sunna, and transformational power not only for itself but also for the animal or person-animal that eats it - nourishment magick.
I am in this stage and while I can only guess, the seed might feel some pain as it cracks open to the moisture of the ground and begins to put out a sprout and roots.
I am putting out roots here in Meadow Lakes. I have found a home and I will grow here, reaching for the sun and nourishing those around me, gaining nourishment from them.
The plant does not worry about nourishing the animal half a world away. It does not worry about nourishing those nearby. It focuses on reaching towards the sun, focuses on drinking deep, focuses on growing its seed and nurturing it. I will do the same.
This rune also references the inner-child. The inner-child that seeks not only acceptance but also a mother's pride. The inner-child that fears even after a decade, even after 5000 miles. The inner-child that now turns to a goddess who takes care of children left out in the cold by mothers past and now and carries them with her on the wild hunt - the same wild hunt that happens one night after my birthday.
In divination, a reverse or "negative" reading could mean movement without change. I reflect on how I am constantly in this cycle with my mother. Susun Weed in her book says life is a cycle and how we are always returning to these times in our life, these events, decisions, illnesses, and so on and how we learn something new. This isn't to be considered outside of health. This is part of health, part of us. She recommends acceptance and Nourishment - a word that keeps coming up for me. How can I nourish myself in this situation and time. What do I need for nourishment? What does a seed need to gestate?
Good soil - if the soil the seed started in isn't working, move it. I moved to Alaska and was brought to Meadow Lakes by a series of events.
Sunshine - a shining light, goals, hope, knowing that things can get better even in the valleys and tunnels of life. The silver lining - knowing that the valleys might be low but they are fertile and usually beautiful if one will only look around. Sure, they don't have the far seeing vistas of mountain tops but they have meadows - I will have to focus on seeing heaven in a wild flower.
Air to breathe. Pollution, negative thoughts, bad programming, and more.
Water - cleansing, renewing, life giving water. My son's smiles, my lover's arms. Scalding showers.
Inguz

Runes in Ancient Text

While current Rune systems of divination seem to stem from modern heathen and magickal practices (1970's onward to today) and lesser known Armenan Rune system from 1902, there are references to symbol magick in the old texts. I've been looking into this more, trying to make a connection to ancestral ways of doing things and how we do them now as I learn about the runes. I thought I would share some of my research.

Tacitus (Germania 10) gives a detailed account (98AD):

They attach the highest importance to the taking of auspices and casting lots. Their usual procedure with the lot is simple. They cut off a branch from a nut-bearing tree and slice it into strips these they mark with different signs and throw them at random onto a white cloth. Then the state's priest, if it is an official consultation, or the father of the family, in a private one, offers prayer to the gods and looking up towards heaven picks up three strips, one at a time, and, according to which sign they have previously been marked with, makes his interpretation. If the lots forbid an undertaking, there is no deliberation that day about the matter in question. If they allow it, further confirmation is required by taking auspices.

It is often debated whether "signs" refers specifically to runes or to other marks; both interpretations are plausible.

"Runes shalt thou find / and fateful signs"
Havamal 143

"Beer I bring thee, tree of battle,
Mingled of strength and mighty fame;
Charms it holds and healing signs,
Spells full good, and gladness-runes."
the Poetic Edda is the Sigrdrífumál stanza 5

There is also mention of:

• ølrunar "Ale-runes"
• biargrunar "birth-runes" 
• brimrunar "wave-runes" 
• limrunar "branch-runes"
• malrunar "speech-runes"
• hugrunar "thought-runes"

Gebo and Frigga

A Gift for a Gift

Recently I received a set of runes as a trade - the runes for a custom crocheted tarot bag. This act of barter is a direct correlation to the run of Gebo.
Gebo is the rune of:

• Gifts
• Barter
• Trade
• Exchange
• Business Partnership
• Marital Relationships
• Romantic Partnerships

The rune associated with Frigga is Berkana but today I wanted to focus on the relationship of Gebo with Frigga.

Experience
If you're reading my blog, you probably know that this is almost entirely UPG (unverified personal gnosis) that is brought on by experiences I have with Frigga and her handmaidens as well as a few experiences I have with other gods and my husband has with other gods.
My experiences with Gebo was initially brought about with Frigga.

The first experience I had was right after Ironwood Witch, Ulfdis, gave me a reading regarding my being called into service by Frigga. I was not expecting a reading but I wanted to return the kindness and work so I asked Ulfdis if I could send her something in return for her divinatory aid. She said I could and reminded me that this act of Gebo is something I might be coming across more and more in this realm of Northern Paganism/Heathenry.

The second time I experienced Gebo with Frigga was when I was tryign to negotiate a mandate Frigga had for me - within a year I am to stop giving tarot readings for pay. Frigga is a goddess of divination and a seer in her own right but she is one that is well known for not telling people or gods what she sees. The reason she didn't want me to offer readings for pay is 1) it cheapens my abilities in that people off the street can access divine aid and messages for simple coin and, because it is easily bought, they often blow off the advice given (this is something I see often as a tarot reader) and 2) it is not a form of divination that she is particularly fond of turns out.
So I was negotiating with her regarding divination because I love divination and reading tarot is a huge part of my life and business. I won't go into all the details of our negotiations but I will tell about its relationship to Gebo. Frigga mandated in part that I would learn to read the runes but that my first set of runes must be given to me in an act of Gebo and that I could, until she says otherwise, only read runes for others as an act of Gebo - a barter.
As I said before, my first set of runes were given to me in exchange for a custom crocheted tarot bag. This exchange happened very quickly after Frigga's mandate - the speed of which and the ease of the exchange I honestly feel is a testament to her showing me that she won't simply mandate or require things but will also aid in making it happen so long as I don't hesitate.

How do I feel about Loki and his followers?

Gonna keep this short and sweet -
I honor all the gods because they are that - gods - and in my belief there is indeed a hierarchy and we humans are not on top, the gods are and therefore I honor them as beings far more powerful than myself - this includes the Jotun, this inclufrs Loki.
I think the tendency within the Heathan/Asatru/NTP communities to dislike Loki comes from the fact that many of us have a Christian background with its binary belief of Good God and Evil Satan. I often see writing regarding Loki and Odin with this same tendency towards a binary and likening Baldr to a fallen Christ awaiting resurrection. This is all nonsense.
I think Mainer74 puts the whole matter very succinctly here.
I take no issue with followers of Loki, or any of the Jotun, dark gods, or any other gods so long as they do not push their beliefs on me.

That all being said; I am my Lady's earthly handmaiden and there are certain taboos that I will not break in my hearthstead - one is that Loki, as the killer of Her son, is not permitted in her presence. I do not honor Loki at Her altar or even in the room Her altar is in. His imagery is not present where I worship Her and I do not speak of him when She and I meet.
I see it like this - just because murder is not necessarily a punishable act among our gods, and Loki's actions can be justified when in the light of Odhinn's actions, it is still rude to bring up the offending party to Frigga, who had nothing known to do with Loki's troubles and still lost her beloved son.

Small side rant: I know I shouldn't let it bug me but...images of Thor movies/comics and its fan art that depict a loving maternal relationship between Frigga and Loki annoy me sooo much. I think i just get annoyed because if you google Frigga its all over the place. /endrant.

Don’t keep the Gods trapped in the past!

theskaldspeaks:

You know what I want to see more of? Images of our gods in the modern age. They’re not just our ancestors’ gods, they’re ours too.

I want to see Freyr blessing migrant farmer laborers. I want to see Freyja watching over sex workers. I want to see Odin camped out under an overpass, swapping stories. I want Tyr marching with protesters and Thor fighting tyrants. I want Frigga as a high powered lady executive or attorney, Eir as a nurse in an overcrowded and underfunded inner city hospital

Our gods our more than gleaming steel and mead halls. Humanity has grown and changed, and of course the gods have come along with us!

Prayer to Eir

norsegodcalls:

Hail Eir!
With loving ears, please
hear this prayer.

To scorch out flu
and reknit bone.
With healing flow,
please fill my home.

Mind, lend strength
and self-hate, quell.
In soul, mind, and body;
Please, Eir, make me well.

Hail!


norsegodcalls


Requested by Anon

Adorations of the Disir

Adorations of the Disir

I adore You, Mitochondrial Eve.

I adore You, Ancient Women.

I adore You, Eldest Kin.

I adore You, Women of Strength.

I adore You, Women of Power.

I adore You, Women of Resolve.

I adore You, Leaders.

I adore You, Warriors.

I adore You, Healers.

I adore You, Farmers.

I adore You, Hunters.

I adore You, Crafters.

I adore You, Grandmothers.

I adore You, Mothers.

I adore You, Sisters.

I adore You,…